I'm 31. My husband died in July from leukemia. I cheated on him.....?

now i am pregnant. I have his (husbands) 2 year old and my now boyfriends is due in December..... I am having HUGE depression problems and I had to move in with boyfriend, he has 2 kids that are 13 & 16..... they are the most ungrateful children, i swear. I have been through so many unexpected changes. I MISS MY HUSBAND, I need to do something. idk, please no comments that condemn me. No one is perfect snd yes i love them. What can I do...move, or play evil stepmom?